After two years of searching for a doctor who knows about and treats biotoxin illnesses caused by mold, I found one about a month ago. That tells you how hard it is to find one!. And then he was in Maryland - I thought, okay, that won't work. But then, my little scheming mind went to work: Jamie and Eric live in Pennsylvania - that's going the right direction! Then, I thought: Thanksgiving is coming - a great reason to start working our way out there. See how my mind works?
Looking back I can see God had this trip planned. Too many things fit into place too easily. Healing time with Jamie and Eric following their In Vitro attempt, frequent flyer miles worked, Rob got to join us, good flights and good weather, the doctor had a opening and the appointment went well.
I can't tell you too much right now, because my brain is a little sluggish tonight - and the technical information we were given, well, most of it went in one ear and out the other. But the one thing I did hold on to was that Daryl has been exposed to severely toxic mold that could cause inflammatory sickness with the symptoms he has. Halleluiah! After taking about a gallon of his blood and a nasal swab with an 8" q-tip, we will wait for about a month to get the results back for things I had never heard of. The doctor will call us and we'll go from there. We are definitely encouraged. Daryl connected with the doctor, we have hope and we have a plan. I sound a lot more confident tonight than I did Monday morning. . .
I was dreading going to this appointment. I was nervous and very anxious about it. I did NOT want to start this whole process over again - it was bringing up very bad memories of our Mayo and Iowa City experiences. I will never go back to either of those places. I was very thankful Jamie and Rob could go with us for support and encouragement. And to drive! We went through four state capitals on this trek: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, Dover, Delaware, Annapolis, Maryland, and finally, Des Moines.
So, as I was taking my shower Monday morning, I let the hot water massage and relax me. I began praying that God would give me peace in my heart and that I would give him the keys to the mess we're in. I prayed that He would show us which direction to go with Daryl's health. I want so badly to do the right thing, go the right direction. I asked God for guidance and wisdom and the most amazing thing happened. I heard the verse Proverbs 3:6 loud and clear: acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your paths. So I thought about that - a lot. I chewed on what acknowledge really means - I asked Daryl, Jamie and Rob. I called Andy and also talked to his girlfriend, Kim about it. It's not an easy word to pin down the meaning of when you really think about it.
To me, I thought it meant to give notice to, recognize. I definitely want to acknowledge God in all areas - but especially for the work he's doing in Daryl's health and in our lives because of it. But Kim gave me wonderful insight into the word: the word acknowledge comes from the hebrew word 'yada' or 'yadah' (to know someone intimately, to revere or worship with extended hands). Knowing God is submitting with extended hands to his perfect will ... definitely NOT simple or easy! But it's not impossible. When I submit to and praise God in the hard times, it encourages me and lifts my spirits. I know, because I've done it. It's the grace I need to get through the tough days and the wisdom not to guess the future.
When I read both verses 5 & 6, it reminded me of the last blog I wrote back in September - about leaning on the wrong shoulder. I'm definitely seeing a pattern and common message God's telling me (over and over):
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart (trust Him in the good times AND bad)
and lean not on your own understanding; (enough said - that's how I've gotten where I am)
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, (that means submitting to His will in everything I do)
and he will direct your paths. (then He'll show me where to go and what to do)
This is my prayer as we go down some new paths to seek Daryl's healing. Every day (probably multiple times) I am going to take God's hand and go on this walk He's insisting I go on with Him. I don't know where He's taking me and I'd rather go a different direction, but I'm going - I guess that's trust, isn't it?
Until next time, thank you for praying for us - "then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many." (2 Corinthians 1:11) Blessings to you all!
